Looking through your data , it would seem that Grandpa Cole's father WAS called Thomas/Tom b.1850 and this Tom was the 3rd child ( b. 1820 ) to James and Hannah . I had not been able to find this link , as he did not appear in the earlier censuses that I checked : many thanks ! I think I may have found his death in 1878 aged 28 in Monmouth , which means he DID die shortly after my Grandpa was born in 1874 .